Admit it…you’ve done it. Took one look at someone and made a judgment about him or her. Visible tattoos, baggy shorts, combat boots: a hoodlum. Mousy brown hair, glasses, high-necked sweater: boring.

Although it is human nature to visually discern what we like and don’t like, it doesn’t seem fair that we make these judgments before looking any deeper than first appearances.

As a voracious reader myself, I do judge a book by its cover. It’s the first thing I notice. It’s what makes me pick up the book in the first place. Once I pick it up and read the inside flap, or the back cover, THEN do I decide if I want to read it. If one were to decide to read a book solely on its cover, well, kudos to the illustrator!

The same should apply to dating and deciding whether or not to see a person again. Deciding to do so based only on their appearance is saying, well, kudos to the illustrator! Or makeup artist, or clothing designer, or personal trainer, or surgeon, or whoever else contributed to this person’s look.

And how exciting would a book be if looking at the cover and reading the flap gave you the ENTIRE story, including the ending? Isn’t part of the allure the journey of discovery? Having characters described, fleshed out, backgrounds told, having the story unfold before your eyes…the pieces of the puzzle given to you to figure out. In other words, wouldn’t it be fun to go out with someone who isn’t your typical “type” and discover (against all odds!) that he or she has so much in common with you?

When going for the looks first, you automatically have high hopes and expectations for this person to get along swimmingly with everything about you! In the ensuing disappointment, I think I’d like to take my chances on an atypical type and be pleasantly surprised.

It is natural to go for what we find visually stimulating, and often get disappointed, but why not try the converse? Go for a different LOOK and be pleasantly surprised by the depth of what’s going on beneath it.

Attraction is a must, but let’s try to find the attraction that is on a chemistry level–a “click” or connection of some sort–but oftentimes we overlook that potential because the person doesn’t have the right appearance. You never know…that boring cover may be the next Pulitzer Prize winner!

by Loreli Lee